The Arkansas Game and Fish Commission (AGFC) today introduced the long anticipated open bike rider hunting season for central Arkansas. The season will last from November 20th until December 1st, a second spring season will go from March 24th to May 2nd.
The new hunting season is an effort to control the surging bike rider population in the Little Rock metro area. According to AGFC new bike lanes and trails throughout the city have caused the riders to move from their natural habitats into the city.
“We have seen an increase of bike rider poaching over the last several years,” AGFC spokesperson Stephen Alexander says. “We understand that overpopulating is an issue, but we do not want individuals running them over with their cars every time one is spotted. Under the new season you can tag 2 bike riders per season with any modern vehicle. We will have to enforce the $500 fine for running over a bike rider out of season however.”
The fall season is limited to only hunting with modern vehicles, which is defined as models made after 1990. The first week of the spring season will be reserved for classic vehicles and tractors.
Hunters are required to promptly remove all debris from roadways. License for the hunting period will cost $25 and can be picked up at any Saline County Walmart or Bass Pro Shops.
*Note: Here is a followup post. Cycling accidents need to be addressed by stronger laws against motorist who injure or kill cyclist. We are big fans of the cycling community in Little Rock and want to raise awareness about the issues.
9 Comments
Another good one. Especially like the Saline county part
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Coming form a city where a young bright mind just died riding a bicycle, I’d be pleased to read a real story about you being throttled.
The wonderful gift satire gives us is the ability to see the comments from all of those who had a humorectomy as a child.
This is great! The City of LR has made hunting easier with their new striping designs on South Main Street from 7th to Roosevelt in Soho…. dedicated hunting lanes for bikers!
Whoever wrote this is a complete moron and I hope you lose your job soon.
This is disgusting. I hope you know the millions of cyclists in this world are very active, how can you be so idiotic as to think you won’t get a severe backlash from posting an article as infantile as this? Well, hope you enjoyed your little news blog while it lasted.
They should do this in new York city, HELL THEY COULD CHARGE FOR TICKETS AND CONSSESION STANDS cuz you know people will be watching the carnage!
How sickening that you think its funny to encourage your readers to murder a group of people. Many cyclists are killed every year by drivers and it is reprehensible that you think you can make a joke of it. Shame on you for advocating the murder of cyclists or any other group for that matter. I will be phoning the Little Rock Police force to inform them of your disgusting promotion of the killing of innocent people. Some things are not a joke. You need to learn what those things are. This is one of them.
Little Rock Police 1 501-371-4621 for anyone else that would like to report this.