The Arkansas Razorbacks today announced that they will shut down the remainder of the football season tonight at midnight unless Texas A&M reduced 14 points from their final score on last Saturday’s game.
The score reduction would give the Razorbacks a 2 point victory and match the Razorback’s win total from last year. This would also mark the first time since 2010 that the Razorbacks opened SEC play with a win.
“I feel like there were at least 2 instances where a hold should have been called that enabled A&M to score and a pass interference should have been called that we would have surely scored on as a result,” Razorback Head Coach Bret Bielema tells us. “We started looking at what congress was doing today and it made a lot of sense. So effective midnight tonight we will cancel our season until we get those points back.”
Arkansas issued a statement saying the only way they would restore the season is if A&M relinquishes their 14 points, or allows Arkansas to play an additional 2 minutes of regulation in Razorback Stadium without a defensive opponent. The Razorbacks have said that they will not count the ensuing games as forfeits, so no losses will accrue on their season totals. Season ticket holders will not be allowed into the stadium, and will not receive reimbursement for their tickets.
“I truly feel sorry for all the fans that will have to miss the remainder of the games because A&M conspired with the officials, “Razorback athletic director Jeff Long tells us. “To show my sympathy I will also forfeit any reimbursement on my season tickets along with all football personnel. Bret Bielema has additionally said he will donate all lucky windbreakers to a charity auction to raise money for the Razorback Foundation in this time period.”
When reached for comment about the stance made by the Razorbacks, A&M athletics director Eric Hyman told us “Why in the world would I give up the points. It was a game already played and finalized. I can’t believe fans would empower anyone to run their athletic department that behaved like this.”
20 Comments
Same opinion I have of the Congress! Fire them all!
Usually these are pretty creative, but this one his just lame. C’mon man..
Colbert used tbe same analogy last night with the NFL. Be original.
Lol
WTH kinda statement is that. life is not fair so I quit.
No hate but how in the World are you getting away with falsely quoting the coach and Director? Illegal?
That’s the dumbest thing i have ever heard.
Saw the game… A loss is a loss, suck it up and move on.
Saw the game… A loss is a loss, suck it up and move on.
When will people wake up, sports on TV in not about sport, it is about big money. A&M is a hot item right now, people are watching. How much more money will be made if they keep winning vs. losing. Almost every game on TV is decided by officials bad calls and no calls not just this game between Ark. and Tx. A&M. I’m an Okla. fan, been watching for 45 years. Okla. has had more than their share from the refs. The day of the majority of officials make calls honestly, went by the way side years ago. I have DVR, I can stop the action at the point pass interference has occurred. 2 plays in a row were pass interference at the end of that game and yes there was also a hold to let A&M score.
Pretty astonishing collection of mouth breathing point-missers
Fake: RockCityTimes posted an article about GTA:V with Hot Springs it was also fake. They are just attempting to generate traffic on ludicrous topics.
What a bunch of pussies
this isn’t a true action..just for fun!
This isn’t a true story. Arkansas never said this.
Satire pointing out that unlike this spoof the political standoff is not a game. And if the writer knew anything about process, he would know that before all these CRs and the lifting of the debt ceilings were passed that budget appropriations by department, DOD, Vets, etc, were passed by the house and sent to the Senate one or so at a time. Urge your Senator to pass the temporary funding and then roll up their sleeves and work with the opposing party to create a realistic budget that won’t outspend our income. We need leadership not rhetoric!!
HEY COACH YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED A BADGER LAND LOSER.
This just goes to show how stupid they are, A&M believes that Arkansas really stated this!!!!! The joke is on A&M!!!! WPS
Let em quit the season. That’ll show the kids sportsmanship. I hope all recruits go elsewhere.
This is hilarious.. Some nice “tongue in cheek” analogy going on here.. They didn’t mention moving the goalPosts at some point, which would have been a nicely veiled reference for the “redistricting issue” theElephants are attempting to pull off..