Atlanta to Build a Wall Around City to Protect from Future Winter Weather

ATLANTA – In a special meeting last night the Atlanta city council approved plans to build a 64 mile, 48 foot tall wall around the city to protect against future winter weather.

The wall will wrap around the city on the outer edge of Interstate 285, better known as the Perimeter. The move comes as a second winter weather event this year moves into the city, the first crippling the city with a small amount of snow.

“To say we do not understand how to manage winter weather is an understatement,” Atlanta mayor Kasim Reed tells us. “What I do understand is common characteristics of great cities who avoided winter weather, they all had walls. Rome? Never snowed. Jerusalem? Never snowed. Berlin? Ok, so it snowed, but they deserved it.”

City engineers theorize that building a wall over 45 feet will create a rain shadow effect that should keep most light snow events away from the city.

The cost of construction is expected to be around $1.2 billion, which the city says it saved earlier by allowing the new Atlanta Braves stadium to be built outside city limits.

“Yes the price tag is expensive, but I consider it a strong investment given the cost of a gridlocked city multiple times a year,” Reed says. “We have additional plans to install large space heaters across the city that provide summer heat. We believe that we can eliminate winter completely in Atlanta.”

Construction on the wall is expected to move quickly and finish by December. In addition to blocking the snow, the wall will include zombie defense mechanisms.

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Atlanta to Build a Wall Around City to Protect from Future Winter Weather