Economic Recession Predicted Following Simpsons Unlimited Streaming
WASHINGDON, D.C.–The Bureau of Labor Statistics has released a study predicting another economic recession to hit the United States following the release of the hit television series “The Simpsons” in …
Former Jonesboro Police Chief Spends Much More Time on Facebook after Resigning over Facebook Controversy
Former Jonesboro Police Chief Mike Yates announced his resignation yesterday and retreated to an online world of bathroom selfies, “Candy Crush Saga,” and unsuccessful friend requests after posting nasty Facebook comments directed at …
Archaeologist Says ’64 Galore’ Dig Could Take Weeks to Uncover
LONDON–Following the yearly yard sale event, “Bargains Galore on 64,” popular among locals occurring each summer along Highway 64, archaeologists have recently uncovered ancient remains documenting a little known and …
Rock City Times Collects Cash Donations for Ice Bucket Challenge’s Pneumonia Victims
The kindhearted staff of the Rock City Times has decided to raise awareness and a bunch of money for people who have tragically fallen ill with pneumonia after participating in …
New Dogpatch USA Owner Announces Plans To Open Nude Theme Park on Property
The remainder of the property that contains the ruins of the once-bustling theme park known as Dogpatch has been purchased for $2 million, according to property records filed with the …
Sheriff: Man Eaten By “Beast” In Lake Dardanelle
The Pope County Sheriff’s Office announced in a news release on Friday afternoon (Aug. 8) that a man was swallowed inside Lake Dardanelle by some kind of beast a quarter of a …
Auto Dealer Launches Sale to Help Buyers with Tiny Penises Compensate with Large Trucks
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Fletcher Auto Sales has announced a two-week summer sales event titled “Compensation Daze,” during which any aspiring buyer who can prove he has something small “under the …
Fayetteville Mother Arrested for Leaving Daughter in Car for Two Hours
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — The single mother of a young girl was arrested by the Fayetteville Police Department’s heavily armed SWAT unit after she allowed her daughter to sit outside in a child-sized Fisher-Price car for two …
Dover Lights Mystery Files Bankruptcy
RUSSELLVILLE–Sources confirm that the phenomenon known to haunt the area that locals call the Dover Lights has recently filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy at the Pope County courthouse earlier this week. …
Razorbacks Report to Camp; Freshmen Meet New Pronunciation Coach
FAYETTEVILLE – The University of Arkansas Razorbacks open fall camp this week. After being fitted for helmets and pads, newcomers to the program will be meeting with newly hired pronunciation …