Despite Best Efforts, Man’s Yard Dies Anyway
BATESVILLE–Although the Natural State has experienced springlike temperatures this month, local resident Ernest Green informed sources that the grass in his front lawn remains dry. Green reported to have mowed …
Texas Explores Ways to Make Executions More Painful, Drawn Out
To make up for other states’ recent decisions to abandon the death penalty, Texas lawmen have announced that they will explore new ways to make their executions more painful and …
NSA Creates ‘SRSLY GR8’ Guide on Texting Etiquette
The National Security Agency used the information from millions of text messages it secretly collected during the past few years to make an extensive guide on texting etiquette, covering everything …
Mysterious Formations Baffle Local Fort Smith Residents
FORT SMITH–After numerous reports, Sebastian County residents and police have found no clues as to the recent appearances of beer can pyramids among several neighborhoods and national parks in the …
Little Rock Zoo’s Controversial ‘Animal Deathmatch’ Exhibit Draws Record Crowds
A crowd of nearly 400 parents and young children gathered at the Little Rock Zoo this Sunday for a first look at “Animal Deathmatch,” a zookeeper-sanctioned showdown between various beasts that …
Arkansas Struggles to Deal with Hundreds of Children Illegally Crossing Border from Missouri
A government report released this week shows that enormous walls, rabid coon-hunting dogs, venomous snakes, and other obstacles erected by the Arkansas Immigration Department are doing little to prevent hundreds …
Fayetteville Mayor Plans To Give Arkansas A Professional Sports Team
After hearing about high school students attempting to bring a professional hockey team to Fort Smith, Fayetteville Mayor Lioneld Jordan announced on Wednesday (July 16) that he is backing a city …
Arkansas Couple Abandons Boy After Facebook Quiz Reveals He’s ‘a Yankee from Ohio’
BENTON, ARK. — Saline County sheriffs have arrested the parents of a 12-year-old boy who was abandoned after he allegedly failed a “How Redneck are You?” quiz on Facebook. Gus and Jennie …
Acclaimed Director to Give Dinosaur Hunting Seminar
LITTLE ROCK– Academy Award winning director Steven Spielberg will make an appearance at Bass Pro Shops in Little Rock to offer a seminar on dinosaur hunting on July 30th. Spielberg’s dinosaur …
Ancient Mayan Soccer Rule Turns Brazil into a German Colony After Brutal World Cup Loss
Due to a long-forgotten rule from the Mesoamerican soccer related game Ōllamaliztli, that dates back to the Mayan empire, Brazil officially became a German colony this week after a crushing 7-1 …