California to Buy Flood Water From Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas

SACRAMENTO, Ca — California state legislature passed an emergency measure to purchase the excess flood waters from Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas for $128 million plus transportation costs.

Under the plan California would have rights to any excess flood waters for the remainder of 2015. Transportation plans are still being developed, but one suggestion is to temporarily use existing transcontinental natural gas pipelines to move the water to holding areas across California.

“Right now we think we can quickly retrofit the pipelines to move water to holding ponds where it would be treated and then distributed across the state,” California Governor Jerry Brown tells us. “The other plan is to use local inmates to fill buckets of water and load them on railcars. The main issue with that is the execution rate in Texas is creating a labor shortage.”

This comes as a welcome relief to all four states involved. Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas are dealing with record level flooding that could increase in the following days. At the same time California is experiencing the worst drought in state history.

The plan was approved early this morning by all four governors after passing the California legislature late last night.

“We are just happy to get rid of the water, ” Texas Governor Greg Abbott says. “It was clearly a diversion tactic by Obama to send in more troops to prepare for an invasion of Texas. Just glad we can thwart his liberal agenda plot by removing the flood water and selling it to liberals to fund our own militia.”

California hopes to gain over 400 trillion gallons of flood water in process. The state hopes this should ease water needs long enough to put out the couch fires in San Francisco after Golden State wins the NBA championship.


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California to Buy Flood Water From Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas