Donald Sterling Claims he is Not a Racist, Hates Most Other People Too

LOS ANGELES – Disgraced Clippers owner Donald Sterling broke his silence regarding his racist remarks today, claiming his in not in fact a racist.

In a statement Sterling claimed that he actively hates all races and people, not just black people. Sterling plans to appeal the lifetime ban based on careful analytic measuring of all hateful remarks over the past year.

“To say that I just hate black people is absurd. I try to hate everyone equally,” Sterling says. “In fact, in that same recording I went on to say how I hate that JJ Reddick for being a white boy who can’t jump and Hedo Turkoglu for having a name I cannot pronounce. After careful review of everything I have said by this little Asian kid I hired, because they are good at analytics, he found that I said hateful remarks regarding every single race equally. Accounting for what he calls a 2.5% margin of error or some garbage like that.”

According to Sterling his hatred is not limited to race. He claims to also hate people based on sexual orientation, religion, hair color, dialect, underwear preference, and how many more women a person slept with than him while on business trips.

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver condemned the ongoing hatred from Sterling, saying that his recent remarks only reinforce the decision for the lifetime ban. “His ongoing hatred of others is something that we do not want in this league,” Silver says.

“I still do not understand what the problem is. I just hate everyone equally,” Sterling responded. “I do not like people. I would not, could not like them in a tree. Not in a car, you let me be. I do not like them in a box, I do not like them with a fox. I do not like them in a house, I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them Don I am, I do not like people not named Sam.”

 

 

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Donald Sterling Claims he is Not a Racist, Hates Most Other People Too