Wildly unpredictable winter weather has forced five Little Rock forecasters to seek clinical treatment for symptoms including mental instability, compulsive thermometer reading and early stages of multiple on-air personality disorder.
The UAMS Psychiatric Institute admitted the weathermen on Tuesday, Jan. 21, when temperatures in Little Rock plummeted to a bitter 35 degrees–a drastic change from the previous day’s balmy 70-degree weather.
In the forecasters’ absence, Arkansas residents are being forced to turn to the Internet for timely weather updates. Christopher Walliss, a 54-year-old Conway resident, said his iPhone is no replacement for KARK’s Keith Monahan.
“With Keith in a straitjacket somewhere, I am really at the mercy of the elements,” Walliss said. “Siri just can’t explain the high- and low-pressure fronts.”
Little Rock newsrooms have reportedly received an overwhelming amount of support from devoted viewers who have sent get-well cards, hair care products, mascara and fashionable ties.
3 Comments
Without Todd Yakobian and Greg Dee, life just isn’t worth living.
Simple solution. Open front door upon arisi ng. While standing naked or in P. J.’s for two minutes in open doorway you will have the morning forecast or neighbors will have you taken away where you will be fed and made comfortable. The evening forecast – who cares – snuggle up or run the A.C.
I can now call myself a Metrologist
Didn’t afflict Ned Perme, he’s been dead for 10 years now. Each night his corpse is taken on set and through the use of Disney Worlds leftover robotics from the “It’s a Small World” ride, he is brought to life. Rumors are, the song from said ride actually drove the remainder of the newscast to the edge of insanity. The weather is simply a byproduct of all this madness…