Former Jonesboro Police Chief Mike Yates announced his resignation yesterday and retreated to an online world of bathroom selfies, “Candy Crush Saga,” and unsuccessful friend requests after posting nasty Facebook comments directed at a local reporter.
Sunshine Crump, Jonesboro Sun police reporter and daughter of suspected hippies, reportedly angered Yates when she wrote an article about how he had taught at Arkansas State University without proper paperwork. Crump had planned to quit due to the chief’s harassment, which he claimed was simply First Amendment-protected expression, but she has since indicated that she will remain on staff.
Yates’ Facebook friends report that he has become even more of a bully on social media since he left his post at the police department. Martha Yates, mother of the former police chief, said she was forced to unfriend “Mikie” after he became increasingly belligerent.
“I kindly asked him to stop sending me invitations to play ‘FarmVille 2,'” Martha said. “But he just informed me that it was his First Amendment right to send the invitations and that he would post embarrassing arrest information from my past if I didn’t help him grow some corn.”
Yates declined to discuss his relationship with his mother or the recent controversy, but he was more than willing to give an update on his recent progress on the hit Facebook game, “Mafia Wars.”
“I have built up a sizable Mafia force that will not be opposed by the city’s filthy rag of a newspaper,” Yates said. “Soon I will be untouchable, and my mobsters will be able to intimidate and say whatever they damn well please without any repercussions.”
Yates wrote a resignation letter, but he summed up his decision with the selfie included above, which was captioned, “H8rs Gonna H8!”