Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) announced the much anticipated arrival of it’s newest menu item today, The Slop Basket. The new meal comes after the overwhelming success of the Double Down, two pieces of boneless fried chicken with bacon, two kinds of cheese, and a special sauce in between them.
According to the fast food chain, the Slop Basket starts with a made from scratch (microwaved) hickory smoked hand woven bacon bucket, roughly the size of a tall trashcan. The basket is sealed water tight using a secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices, peanut oil, and modeling glue.
KFC’s highly trained chef’s carefully hand peel the skin from 35 pieces of extra crispy chicken. Each one of these pieces is then individually battered and deep fried to a golden brown perfection.
“This is something I have waited for my whole life,” Birmingham Alabama customer and quadruple heart attack survive Eugene Bryant tells us. “Just like my momma made it growing up. Shove the leftovers in a bucket, pour some gravy on it, and you have the best meal in the world.”
The double deep fried chicken skin is then mixed carefully into a solution that is roughly 70% gravy, 25% mashed potatoes, and 5% crumbs that have been swept off customers’ tables and collected throughout the day.
The topper is a thin layer (8 inches thick) of buttermilk biscuits crumbled lovingly the top of the piping hot chicken skin/gravy/mashed potato/crumb filling.
In addition to the Slop Basket, KFC announced a new shake pairing. The Slop Shake starts with two gallons of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and carefully mix in an entire bag of your choice of Butterfinger mini’s, M & M’s, or pure cane sugar. They then blend in an institutional size jar of Duncan Hines Icing as well as 3 boxes of brownie mix. Then they top it off with whip cream and a cherry.