Today UALR Bowen Law School announced updated admission requirements for 2014. The largest change requires incoming students to have a complete absence of a sense of humor.
The requirement is a part of new curriculum changes aimed to produce lawyers with a more serious and legal demeanor. Recent studies have found that lawyers who show complete lack of personality are 10 times more likely to be successful in their careers. Humor is often cited as the least desired personality trait for major law firms in their hiring process.
“We continuously look for ways to provide a more innovative law education,” says new Bowen school dean Michael Schwartz. “I think in 5 years you will look around the country and see that UALR lawyers are the best in the country. We have spent countless hours researching the comments on legal blogs and we feel confident this is the direction of the future.”
The new requirement adds a 4 hour observation test to be completed with the application. The test places potential students in a room where they are exposed to various forms of comedy. The test includes selected clips from The Daily Show, Colbert Report, SNL, scenes from Eddy Murphy movies, a wide range of comic strips, and selected articles from local satire news sites. During the 4 hour observation any applicant who laughs, smiles, smirks, or gives any resemblance to finding the material funny is immediately disqualified from admission.
Applicants who fail the humor portion of the admissions test are allowed to take a 5 week course at the school and attempt the admission process again. At the end of this course students receive a large stick broken off in their ass, which from trial runs results in a 99% success rate on the law admission exam.