A local food writer was rushed to UAMS hospital last night after consuming 413 Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Red Lobster. Doctors confirm that he slipped into a coma shortly after being admitted into the emergency room.
Kevin Shalin, better known as The Mighty Rib, joined a number of fellow food writers and critics to try the highest grossing restaurants in the metro area. The group chose Red Lobster of North Little Rock to start the journey because of the restaurant’s long standing place atop the highest grossing in the area, despite being unseated in the last few years by Golden Corral.
According to witnesses Shalin spoke about not eating at a Red Lobster since he was 5 years old. “He had no clue what to expect,” local food writer Daniel Walker tells us. “He sat down at the bar while we were waiting on a table and he decided to try one of the biscuits. He thought they were the most wonderful things he ever placed in his mouth.”
Red Lobster’s signature Cheddar Bay Biscuits are given out free to guests with each meal. The restaurant lists the biscuits as 150 calories each and a chef for the restaurant tells us they have approximately 1/8th of a stick of butter in each. UAMS doctors are speculating that it is the equivalent of 51.5 sticks of butter that Shalin ate that is causing the coma.
“After he ate the first one he looked at us and asked if the biscuits are really free,” another guest, Kelly Gee, tells us. “I said ‘heck yeah those are free, eat as many as you want.’ After about 30 I see him over asking the manager about the record for most biscuits eaten at one time. He just came back and said I think I can do 415, and started really digging in. His beard was covered in crumbs.”
Shalin reported feeling dizzy upon consuming #412. Friends encouraged him to stop, but he continued with #413. Immediately after eating Shalin fell on the ground convulsing.
Doctors believe the butter from the biscuits have blocked signals coming from Shalin’s brain. In an early morning update hospital officials state that they have drained approximately 2 gallons of butter already and expect him to make a full recovery once the rest is clear. Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.
420 Comments
Butter is self limiting…I am sure it was the gross amount of food. How on Earth could he eat that much?
“Doctors believe the butter from the biscuits have blocked signals coming from Shalin’s brain.”
Yeah. Blame the butter.
I wonder what his sugar level was. That is a lot of carbohydrates. I thought he might be in a diabetic coma!
I think his Brain was blocking his Brain….lol
I think his Brain was blocking his Brain….lol
I think his Brain was blocking his Brain….lol
I think his Brain was blocking his Brain….lol
Sorry what Brain??? —What he did is a “No Brain” action!!!!
Sorry what Brain??? —What he did is a “No Brain” action!!!!
Sorry what Brain??? —What he did is a “No Brain” action!!!!
Arkansas 2nd most UNRELIABLE news source..it’s like the “Onion”… satire
No kidding. Don’t blame the more than 6600 carbs…
…I love those biscuits but 400+..not sure there was an active brain there to be affected…
…I love those biscuits but 400+..not sure there was an active brain there to be affected…
he should have died. Classic Darwin.
Once again: extremes are never good. From excessive water to over 400 Red Lobster biscuits.
Rather than looking at the obvious idiotic and extreme intake, people are going to cry about “the butter” and the dangers of “saturated fats.” Le sigh.
Eating 400 of anything would destroy you.
Wow..
Wow..
Wow..
What about 400 grains of rice?
What about 400 grains of rice?
What about 400 grains of rice?
What about 400 grains of rice?
…damn! Touche.
…damn! Touche.
…damn! Touche.
…damn! Touche.
Dan Guetersloh ahhaha
I gave them to him. It was a brilliant murder plan. 5 more and he’d be a goner.
Darwinism.
Yes because doctors drain butter from the human body. Ah my fellow dimwitted humans xD
Extremes? Extreme would be reading an article and failing to comprehend it or the source.
Satire. I’m at a loss of how anyone can browse articles on this site and miss the fact that it’s satire news site. It’s for humor only.
People are arguing with each other in comments about fake news. Which is entertaining in and of itself.
Paul you are right. But people believe anything they see on the internet, or anything they are told for that matter, without researching and finding out for themselves. Whether it’s religion, politics, or people eating biscuits, the world is like a bunch of lemmings just waiting for their turn to take a leap into oblivion. Come on people it’s a satirical periodical; stop, look, and listen, before someone fleeces you for everything you have.
Paul you are right. But people believe anything they see on the internet, or anything they are told for that matter, without researching and finding out for themselves. Whether it’s religion, politics, or people eating biscuits, the world is like a bunch of lemmings just waiting for their turn to take a leap into oblivion. Come on people it’s a satirical periodical; stop, look, and listen, before someone fleeces you for everything you have.
This appears to be a satire site (“Arkansas 2nd most unreliable news source”) –
I don’t think a person could physically consume 413 Red Lobster Biscuits. It’s a matter of physics.
Hey simpletons, the article is satirical. “© 2012 – 2013 Rock City Times. The content on here is presented as fictional news with an intent for humor.”
That would be the most delicious death.
Thanks buzzkill. Jeez…
Not a “buzzkill.” Anyone who believes this nonsense is retarded. We’ve all seen Man vs. Food or whatever other stupid show about over-eating that is out there. It is impossible to eat THIS much. I also love the grammatical error here: “Red Lobster’s signature Cheddar Bay Biscuits are given out to guest free with meals in unlimited quantities.” The Onion does it better. This “article” wasn’t even that funny. Mostly just gross.
Not a “buzzkill.” Anyone who believes this nonsense is retarded. We’ve all seen Man vs. Food or whatever other stupid show about over-eating that is out there. It is impossible to eat THIS much. I also love the grammatical error here: “Red Lobster’s signature Cheddar Bay Biscuits are given out to guest free with meals in unlimited quantities.” The Onion does it better. This “article” wasn’t even that funny. Mostly just gross.
Shelby Allen:agreed, in fact why don’t you just start reading the Onion instead of wasting your time commenting here.
Why in the world is it a “buzzkill” to point out that people are reading satire as the truth?
Why in the world is it a “buzzkill” to point out that people are reading satire as the truth?
Of course people believe crap like this, just like reality TV. How do you think Obama got re elected. People will believe anything.
Of course people believe crap like this, just like reality TV. How do you think Obama got re elected. People will believe anything.
Of course people believe crap like this, just like reality TV. How do you think Obama got re elected. People will believe anything.
No it’s a buzz kill.
Come on, it’s pretty funny – “Doctors believe the butter from the biscuits have blocked signals coming from Shalin’s brain.” 😀
Come on, it’s pretty funny – “Doctors believe the butter from the biscuits have blocked signals coming from Shalin’s brain.” 😀
Hey simpletons, the article is satirical. “© 2012 – 2013 Rock City Times. The content on here is presented as fictional news with an intent for humor.”
Hey simpletons, the article is satirical. “© 2012 – 2013 Rock City Times. The content on here is presented as fictional news with an intent for humor.”
draining the butter from his body??? THAT’s a good one!!
FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN?? They’re yummy, but come on!
Wait. This is satire. Duh. Just got redirected to the Wikipedia entry for satire…
Veronica Caine Thought it might be when it mentioned draining butter from his body everyone
would want that done if it were possible.
Veronica Caine I agree that “draining butter from his body” tipped it off. And, 413 biscuits? No one could possibly eat that many.
Veronica Caine I agree that “draining butter from his body” tipped it off. And, 413 biscuits? No one could possibly eat that many.
Veronica Caine I agree that “draining butter from his body” tipped it off. And, 413 biscuits? No one could possibly eat that many.
Extra butter for my popcorn.
Butter-induced convulsions bring on coma.
You had me for a minute, I actually thought this was a real story.
You had me for a minute, I actually thought this was a real story.
You had me for a minute, I actually thought this was a real story.
Butter-induced convulsions bring on coma.
Butter-induced convulsions bring on coma.
Hahha Blaim the butter no doubt he obviously forgot his helmet and should be under watch when in public …. Very pathetic
Hahha Blaim the butter no doubt he obviously forgot his helmet and should be under watch when in public …. Very pathetic
Hahha Blaim the butter no doubt he obviously forgot his helmet and should be under watch when in public …. Very pathetic
Aaand idiots keep posting as though this is a real article without reading title. Genius.
My mistake. The satire was missed as this was posted in a place reserved for real articles that look like they come from The Onion.
At least you retracted. Good on you.
At least you retracted. Good on you.
At least you retracted. Good on you.
“Arkansas 2nd most unreliable news source.” Lol
“Arkansas 2nd most unreliable news source.” Lol
“Arkansas 2nd most unreliable news source.” Lol
Sometimes the comments are funnier than the article this is one of them.
He also drank Rick Schauch Beer and Chips and pooped his way to good health!
Only in America….
… do folks enjoy a good joke.
… do folks enjoy a good joke.
Im so glad the crabmest isn’t unlimited! LOL!-
Shoot. I usually catch it when satire is posted. LOL!
Can I say, that’s what his gluttonous butt gets without backlash? Because DAMN.
No you can’t. Because this was a JOKE/Satire article! Girl, I missed that little detail too…LOL!
you repulsive disgusting pig.
I have no words for you.
Satire to not, makes me sick to my stomach!
Satire to not, makes me sick to my stomach!
I honestly don’t feel that bad. I mean yes it’s sad but he ate that many freakin’ biscuits. that much of anything can’t be good for you. Stupidity gets you in trouble.
Katie, see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bufTna0WArc
Katie, see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bufTna0WArc
He beat my record of 390!
Way to go!
In time for the chocolate waterfall, omg, seriously????!!!
omfg what a lucky guy, i want all those biscuits nao
omfg what a lucky guy, i want all those biscuits nao
^ hahahahahaha
^ hahahahahaha
Best Coma ever!
Wtf is wrong with people!?!? he deserves whatever health issues come from this..
They should introduce him and the man sho almost died from drinking soy sauce…two of a kind.
You realize this is satire, yes? This didn’t really happen.
Paula Deen is reading this going, “Pfft! Pussy!”
413 Red Lobster biscuits?
Challenge Accepted.
those things are pretty good. I could think of worse ways to die.
reminds me of this : http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/06/08/soy-sauce-overdose-sends-teen-into-coma/
Luis A Jaime, I watched peole eat nearly this many shrimp during Endless, but this would just result in lots of vomiting before the challenge was completed.
she would be spreading some mayo on them cheddar bay biscuits !!!! LOL
lol
in related news, his dick is now a cure for anorexia
I tried bro, they usually kick you out after you’ve eaten 40 or so. lol
no, this is not real there is no way.
Definitely not, you’re lucky if they bring two of them to the table. 🙂
Who counted…
Who counted…
Paula Deen would love to use his body for stocks.
Why the fuck would you be such a fatass n try n do that, really?
Why the fuck would you be such a fatass n try n do that, really?
You can buy the dry mix at Sam’s club then add the cheese.
Paula Deen would be proud.
Only if it was served by her plantation slaves…. (sorry I had to after that idiotic party theme)
Strong Bulk
Strong Bulk
62,000 calories. Dat mass.
62,000 calories. Dat mass.
The bulk is strong in this one.
The bulk is strong in this one.
Paula Deen would be proud.
Natural Selection alive and well and at work….
fill that gene pool with clorox
The group chose Red Lobster of North Little Rock to start the journey because of the restaurant’s long standing place atop the highest grossing in the area, despite being unseated in the last few years by Golden Corral. Ousted by Golden Corral! The horrors!
61,950 calories (plus or minus a few) for 413 biscuits from there. Wow.
Hahaha, thank goodness it IS from a fake newspaper! Was worried for a minute…. 😉
Hahaha, thank goodness it IS from a fake newspaper! Was worried for a minute…. 😉
ssshhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,
ssshhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,
ssshhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,
Natural Selection alive and well and at work….
The group chose Red Lobster of North Little Rock to start the journey because of the restaurant’s long standing place atop the highest grossing in the area, despite being unseated in the last few years by Golden Corral. Ousted by Golden Corral! The horrors!
61,950 calories (plus or minus a few) for 413 biscuits from there. Wow.
That’s just plain old GROSS!
I don’t think it’s true @[794463129:2048:Frank A Culotta]
It’s the 2ND MOST UNRELIABLE NEWS SOURCE in Arkansas
I don’t think it’s true @[794463129:2048:Frank A Culotta]
It’s the 2ND MOST UNRELIABLE NEWS SOURCE in Arkansas
I don’t think it’s true @[794463129:2048:Frank A Culotta]
It’s the 2ND MOST UNRELIABLE NEWS SOURCE in Arkansas
it is like the Onion..but those biscuits are awesome
it is like the Onion..but those biscuits are awesome
That’s just plain old GROSS!
That’s just plain old GROSS!
That’s just plain old GROSS!
That’s just plain old GROSS!
He got what he asked for…..
413?? Really??!! What an idiot!
413?? Really??!! What an idiot!
What a dumbass!
What a dumbass!
What a dumbass!
That’s funny- kinda. Those are good biscuits, but shit, I can’t imagine eating more than 10…..lol!
That nasty. Gross
That nasty. Gross
He got what he asked for…..
He got what he asked for…..
He got what he asked for…..
Is this satire?
lol
lol
lol
Yes yes it is…
Yes yes it is…
Yes yes it is…
wth? lmao crazy stuff man!
wth? lmao crazy stuff man!
Is this satire?
Is this satire?
Poetically, he was glutton for punishment ;).
Poetically, he was glutton for punishment ;).
Poetically, he was glutton for punishment ;).
Maybe the dumbest person I have ever read a story about.
Maybe the dumbest person I have ever read a story about.
Maybe the dumbest person I have ever read a story about.
What an idiot! He will still probably sue.
51 sticks o butter?
51 sticks o butter?
51 sticks o butter?
51 sticks o butter?
That’s good knowledge to have… 412 you’re good, but 413 and it induces a coma. Duly noted.
That’s good knowledge to have… 412 you’re good, but 413 and it induces a coma. Duly noted.
That’s good knowledge to have… 412 you’re good, but 413 and it induces a coma. Duly noted.
That’s good knowledge to have… 412 you’re good, but 413 and it induces a coma. Duly noted.
I think he should get an award or something! I mean, thats pretty darn impressive!
I think he should get an award or something! I mean, thats pretty darn impressive!
I think he should get an award or something! I mean, thats pretty darn impressive!
http://www.rockcitytimes.com/about-us/ They are like The Onion (fake)
Which is unfortunate because I was genuinely amused. I mean, what Red Lobster would feed a guy 418 biscuits?
Which is unfortunate because I was genuinely amused. I mean, what Red Lobster would feed a guy 418 biscuits?
its called gluttony!
its called gluttony!
WOW!
WOW!
WOW!
WOW!
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/24/kevin-shalin-food-writer-deny-butter-coma-satire-biscuit-viral_n_3490754.html?utm_hp_ref=uk
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/24/kevin-shalin-food-writer-deny-butter-coma-satire-biscuit-viral_n_3490754.html?utm_hp_ref=uk
So, in this litigious age one has to wonder 2 things:
1) When does the hate mail to Red Lobster start?
2)When does Kevin Shalin get sued for slandering Red Lobster for implying their food is unsafe.
So, in this litigious age one has to wonder 2 things:
1) When does the hate mail to Red Lobster start?
2)When does Kevin Shalin get sued for slandering Red Lobster for implying their food is unsafe.
So, in this litigious age one has to wonder 2 things:
1) When does the hate mail to Red Lobster start?
2)When does Kevin Shalin get sued for slandering Red Lobster for implying their food is unsafe.
So, in this litigious age one has to wonder 2 things:
1) When does the hate mail to Red Lobster start?
2)When does Kevin Shalin get sued for slandering Red Lobster for implying their food is unsafe.
Hilarious! Are you telling me there wasn’t ONE person in that whole place with enough common sense to know you cant eat that many….hell ANYTHING.
Hilarious! Are you telling me there wasn’t ONE person in that whole place with enough common sense to know you cant eat that many….hell ANYTHING.
Hilarious! Are you telling me there wasn’t ONE person in that whole place with enough common sense to know you cant eat that many….hell ANYTHING.
You can’t drain butter that has been incorporated into the baking of biscuits. Satire all the way.
Putting the “win” in “Darwin”.
And also the “on” in “Onion.”
oh good, i totally missed that rock city times is basically an onion site. excellent.
oh good, i totally missed that rock city times is basically an onion site. excellent.
Putting the “win” in “Darwin”.
Putting the “win” in “Darwin”.
This is legitimately how I want to die.
Please, stop! It’s a fake story, originally posted on a satire site and real news organization – as usual – just believe the shit and reprint without doing an ounce of research. Think about it. 413 biscuits?
Billy don’t forget… This is america
Where we have people who make games out of how much they can eat all the time… You’ve heard of Man vs. Food, right?
Where we have people who make games out of how much they can eat all the time… You’ve heard of Man vs. Food, right?
And Cool Hand Luke only ate 50 eggs.
And Cool Hand Luke only ate 50 eggs.
He had more butter drained from his blood than a person has blood in their body. Do you really need to be told this is satire?
OMG. what was he thinkin’, hope he can recover, Jesus!!!!
I know this is bull-s@&t because red lobster would only give me one refill of my biscuits. How the hell you get 413? They are stingy with those things. Treat em like the hope diamond
I know this is bull-s@&t because red lobster would only give me one refill of my biscuits. How the hell you get 413? They are stingy with those things. Treat em like the hope diamond
I know this is bull-s@&t because red lobster would only give me one refill of my biscuits. How the hell you get 413? They are stingy with those things. Treat em like the hope diamond
I know this is bull-s@&t because red lobster would only give me one refill of my biscuits. How the hell you get 413? They are stingy with those things. Treat em like the hope diamond
I know this is bull-s@&t because red lobster would only give me one refill of my biscuits. How the hell you get 413? They are stingy with those things. Treat em like the hope diamond
>”Originally posted on a satire site”
>”Real news organization – as usual – just believe the shit … without doing an ounce of research.”
You do realize you’re on RockCityTimes.com, right? “Arkansas 2nd Most Unreliable News Source”. This entire site is satire. It was fabricated by this site; no research needed. Before you look down on the media for not checking their sources, please remember to check your own sources.
>”Originally posted on a satire site”
>”Real news organization – as usual – just believe the shit … without doing an ounce of research.”
You do realize you’re on RockCityTimes.com, right? “Arkansas 2nd Most Unreliable News Source”. This entire site is satire. It was fabricated by this site; no research needed. Before you look down on the media for not checking their sources, please remember to check your own sources.
oh relax everyone else is having fun.
Please, stop! It’s a fake story, originally posted on a satire site and real news organization – as usual – just believe the shit and reprint without doing an ounce of research. Think about it. 413 biscuits?
Please, stop! It’s a fake story, originally posted on a satire site and real news organization – as usual – just believe the shit and reprint without doing an ounce of research. Think about it. 413 biscuits?
hahaha! I heard this story on the Bob and Sheri radio show today, it was part of the Wolds Dumbest Criminals segment that they do every day. The audio clip is on their website right now at bobandsheri.com. Sheri even said that it sounded like it just had to be fake, so I looked it up, and wadda ya know…The butter part was too funny…they drained 2 gallons from his body…hahaha!
hahaha! I heard this story on the Bob and Sheri radio show today, it was part of the Wolds Dumbest Criminals segment that they do every day. The audio clip is on their website right now at bobandsheri.com. Sheri even said that it sounded like it just had to be fake, so I looked it up, and wadda ya know…The butter part was too funny…they drained 2 gallons from his body…hahaha!
This is quite horrible, but I have to say I burst out laughing when I read; “Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.” Actually, I always thought Red Lobster’s biscuits were killer.
oh but soooo yummy
oh but soooo yummy
This is quite horrible, but I have to say I burst out laughing when I read; “Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.” Actually, I always thought Red Lobster’s biscuits were killer.
so you mean to tell me that prior to biscuit 412 his friends didn’t try to stop him! really! like after 2 or 3 I’m full! 413? REALLY?
so you mean to tell me that prior to biscuit 412 his friends didn’t try to stop him! really! like after 2 or 3 I’m full! 413? REALLY?
He got what he fucking deserves! Gluttony is disgusting and pointless, and eating as much butter at once as Paula Deen uses in a year, he should have fucking died. It’s pigs like you who disgust me!
He got what he fucking deserves! Gluttony is disgusting and pointless, and eating as much butter at once as Paula Deen uses in a year, he should have fucking died. It’s pigs like you who disgust me!
Schnick. Be careful of those delicious buns at Red Lobster
Schnick. Be careful of those delicious buns at Red Lobster
wow I hope he wakes up but come on there good but dnot eat alot of them.
I suspect shellfish allergy instead of butter overload.
Paula Deen Would be proud…
or she would call him a racial slur and go back to her own meal lmao.
or she would call him a racial slur and go back to her own meal lmao.
or she would call him a racial slur and go back to her own meal lmao.
or she would call him a racial slur and go back to her own meal lmao.
SHe is just a southern woman who knows no better yall!!!
SHe is just a southern woman who knows no better yall!!!
SHe is just a southern woman who knows no better yall!!!
SHe is just a southern woman who knows no better yall!!!
SHe is just a southern woman who knows no better yall!!!
I agree with Tom
I agree with Tom
I agree with Tom
I agree with Tom
I agree with Tom
she’s old school southern…. a rags to riches story…. enough already
she’s old school southern…. a rags to riches story…. enough already
she’s old school southern…. a rags to riches story…. enough already
she’s old school southern…. a rags to riches story…. enough already
she’s old school southern…. a rags to riches story…. enough already
I’m tired of people failing to realize that her age or background is no excuse for her behavior…. To whom much is given much is required…
and I totally say that everyone makes mistakes… would this have happened to Oprah?
Paula Deen Would be proud…
What a douche writer and hack news feed that would publish a lie. If all you can do is make up a story to gain fame, what a bunch of losers. Way to represent
Considering it is a satire news site the very nature of the articles would be “made up”. But thanks for calling me a douche, I am sure you will make it far in life.
I will go farther than a hack writer that makes up a story.
ROFLMAO!
they ARE good, if you can stand being in a Red Lobster!
Love the biscuits! I was totally drawn in till the end. 2 gallons of butter drained! LOL.
When actually the sodium would have killed him first. From a nursing stand point.
Love the biscuits! I was totally drawn in till the end. 2 gallons of butter drained! LOL.
When actually the sodium would have killed him first. From a nursing stand point.
I am just glad he wont miss the Chocolate Wonderfall at Golden corral. It would be terrible if he couldn’t partake in that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2hBWIZgJLE
Great. Now I’m hungry……
Great. Now I’m hungry……
Great. Now I’m hungry……
What the hell?!?!
What the hell is right
What the hell is right
That just doesn’t sound right…and the bad spelling/grammar in the article makes me think it’s a joke.
Do people not realize that your stomach can actually burst and kill you? Depending on the individual I would say somewhere around 50 could do the trick. Take a moment to read The Theory of Evolution- its good stuff.
Do people not realize that your stomach can actually burst and kill you? Depending on the individual I would say somewhere around 50 could do the trick. Take a moment to read The Theory of Evolution- its good stuff.
Hahahahaa
lol I don’t know if this is real or not, but “that they have drained approximately 2 gallons of butter already” had me rollin hahahahaha
Oh thats y i died lol
Oh thats y i died lol
Hahahahaa
Did anyone else got a sudden desire to go to Red Lobster? 😛
Did anyone else got a sudden desire to go to Red Lobster? 😛
Did anyone else got a sudden desire to go to Red Lobster? 😛
Fat ass !!!! I bet he didn’t leave a dime!!! Oh wait it’s a darden restaurant people don’t leave a thing. Management probably comped the meal and said its the servers fault!!! Idiots!! People are idiots!!!
Fat ass !!!! I bet he didn’t leave a dime!!! Oh wait it’s a darden restaurant people don’t leave a thing. Management probably comped the meal and said its the servers fault!!! Idiots!! People are idiots!!!
Fat ass !!!! I bet he didn’t leave a dime!!! Oh wait it’s a darden restaurant people don’t leave a thing. Management probably comped the meal and said its the servers fault!!! Idiots!! People are idiots!!!
I love how all the people going on about how stupid Kevin is for eating that many biscuits are the same ones who are too stupid to realize this site is humor and satire.
Um, have you HAD those biscuits? 413 is totally a salt-coma possibility!
It’s how I’d choose to die. Those biscuits are crack. Buttery, salty, cheesy crack.
It’s how I’d choose to die. Those biscuits are crack. Buttery, salty, cheesy crack.
No one ever said I attracted the smartest commenters.
No one ever said I attracted the smartest commenters.
Well, you know, they can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true!! HAHA!!
I’ve never eaten at Red Lobster…
@[822888221:2048:Lisa Morris Frame] I’m so sorry.
I’m annoyed that people compare the writing on this site to the onion.
I love how all the people going on about how stupid Kevin is for eating that many biscuits are the same ones who are too stupid to realize this site is humor and satire.
Um, have you HAD those biscuits? 413 is totally a salt-coma possibility!
He deserves to be in a coma! They should suck fat cells from his brain! Just saying!
He deserves to be in a coma! They should suck fat cells from his brain! Just saying!
What an idiot.
What an idiot.
What an idiot.
What an idiot.
That is just plain stupid
Check the name of the source……..it’s satire
Check the name of the source……..it’s satire
That is just plain stupid
What an idiot
Sunds mad fake.
Today, Food wins.
They’re tasty for sure, but 413 of them.
Today, Food wins.
Probably from all the MSG and other crap.
Probably from all the MSG and other crap.
This is not true!!! Right?
Arkansas Website’s Fake Story on Red Lobster Biscuit Induced Coma Published as Fact by British Tabloid
By: KARK 4 News
Updated: June 24, 2013
LITTLE ROCK, AR – Anyone who’s eaten a Cheddar Bay biscuit from Red Lobster knows how good they are, but could you imagine someone eating more than 400 of them? Even worse, falling into a coma blamed on their high butter content?
When the British tabloid Daily Mirror read online that a man in Arkansas had done just that, it republished the story as fact before finding out it was pure fiction. The headline read “Biscuit binge puts food writer Kevin Shalin into a coma.” The story was soon removed from the website.
The Mirror picked up the bogus story on Rock City Times, which dubs itself “Arkansas’ 2nd most unreliable news source.”
In its fabricated story, Rock City Times reported that Shalin, a Little Rock food writer, (@TheMightyRib on Twitter) ate 413 of the biscuits before collapsing.
When Shalin learned of the situation, he took to Twitter to assure everyone he was fine, posting this tweet:
“To my Houston friends who just heard the story on the radio…it is NOT real. It is fake. I am fine. I did not eat 400+ biscuits. #satire.”
One of Shalin’s followers suggested he now be known as “King Biscuit.”
After the incident, Rock City Times published another pure fiction story, this time about the Daily Mirror (click here to read).
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Thank you @[1493208208:2048:Sue Rogers Feemster]! I knew it was a fable of the n th degree!! 🙂
@[1107262323:2048:Lydia Favre Guerzon], see!! AR people don’t eat 400 plus biscuits!! 🙂
I thought it was hilarious, and so funny that the British tabloid printed it as fact. Did you see the article he wrote about the tabloid? Those are good biscuits!
What a DUMB ASS if this is true. Duh man
it is a satirical story but it is funny
Please!!smh
Glut-ton!
Really, dumb a**…. why would you be stupid enough to causd your self to go into convulsions, and a coma for biscuts’!?! Sure, they are awesome…but like 2 or 3 awesome, not try to kill yourself by gluton awesome…ppl in this world really make.me go wtf….lol
“Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week.”…is that not the best sentence ever to conclude this, *ahem, article? had me rolling!
What an idiot!! Guess he didn’t know that too much consumption of ANYTHING can harm or kill you! Even water for goodness sake!! Smdh :-/
I haven’t eaten at Red Lobster in many years, but I remember those biscuits. They tasted good but…
crazy!!
I haven’t eaten at Red Lobster in many years, but I remember those biscuits. They tasted good but…
Everything about this is just more stupid than I am used to.
What a pig! Ugggh
What a pig! Ugggh
This has to be a joke.
Its fake. I had to first go who would even ant to eat 400+ biscuits? Let alone how long does it take to eat dry biscuits? And lastly…if I owned that store I would shut down after you ate 100…LMAO! http://www.newstalkflorida.com/man-in-coma-after-eating-413-red-lobster-biscuits/
Its fake. I had to first go who would even ant to eat 400+ biscuits? Let alone how long does it take to eat dry biscuits? And lastly…if I owned that store I would shut down after you ate 100…LMAO! http://www.newstalkflorida.com/man-in-coma-after-eating-413-red-lobster-biscuits/
http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/viewnews.php?id=250034
http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/viewnews.php?id=250034
I bet he would’ve tasted delicious. They should’ve rushed him to the rotisserie at Golden Corral instead of the hospital.
if you’re gonna go
there’s no better way
than drowning
in the cheddar bay
Reduce, reuse, recycle.
::sails Ceddar Bay to Flavortown::
I bet he would’ve tasted delicious. They should’ve rushed him to the rotisserie at Golden Corral instead of the hospital.
if you’re gonna go
there’s no better way
than drowning
in the cheddar bay
I bet he would’ve tasted delicious. They should’ve rushed him to the rotisserie at Golden Corral instead of the hospital.
if you’re gonna go
there’s no better way
than drowning
in the cheddar bay
I lost an uncle the same way.
Wow that could have been death.By biscuit
Wow that could have been death.By biscuit
61,250 calorie diet
61,950*
61,250 calorie diet
61,950*
oh well…. Coma it is….
oh well…. Coma it is….
Darwin award goes to……YOU SIR, congratulations! You’ve won! On a side note. This is something the onion would do. xD
Darwin award goes to……YOU SIR, congratulations! You’ve won! On a side note. This is something the onion would do. xD
what a dumbass.
Somebody’s gonna get sued by Red Lobster for libel!
Somebody’s gonna get sued by Red Lobster for libel!
Somebody’s gonna get sued by Red Lobster for libel!
I wonder how many gallons of butter they would get if they drained Paula Deen…
I have to admit – you got me – at first. I FINALLY figured it out when you wrote about the butter-draining. 🙂 Very nice writing! You’re the Onion of the Ozarks! 😀
Pfft. I ate more than 400 different slices of pie, and all I got was fat.
I love those biscuits but not dumb enough to eat too many of them!
Fake story
I know it is. That’s why it’s so funny – especially all the news outlets that picked it up!
Looks like the hospital cafeteria might be getting some free butter!
that’s gross, only you Tom!
Looks like the hospital cafeteria might be getting some free butter!
Damn those things ARE good but I tap out after about 10.
WTH
I’m pretty sure thr butter isn’t the problem. It’s probably all the refined sugar and refined flour and who knows what else is in them. The butter is the healthiest part
Hahahaa “Shalin is expected to be released in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate wonderfall later next week” Damn they totally got me on this…..TROLLED!
sounds like the signals were blocked from his brain before he started….Its not the butters fault.
BUTTERY GOOODNESS!
Gluttonous greedy fool , what is with people these days when something is free? It does not mean you have to kill your self by consuming 413 biscuits , well lets hope he doesn’t have any allergies to chocolate!
You can’t make this up.
Actually – they DID make this up. My brother David told me it was a hoax. Sorry to be the buzz kill.
Actually – they DID make this up. My brother David told me it was a hoax. Sorry to be the buzz kill.
He ate 413 biscuits. Eating ANYTHING in that amount is bad. Common sense people….you can’t buy it but God I wish you could.
Eww! After just one I feel disgusting!
It’s a satire site
Cheddar Bob?
Hey Mister…vegetable with that biscuit?
Hey Mister…vegetable with that biscuit?
Hey Mister…vegetable with that biscuit?
Hey Mister…vegetable with that biscuit?
Stupid
Stupid
If Red Lobster wood take food stamps I’d bbe their to eating lots. Maybe Congressman Cotten will fix that loophole even if he is a Gay.
If Red Lobster wood take food stamps I’d bbe their to eating lots. Maybe Congressman Cotten will fix that loophole even if he is a Gay.
Dont we live in a great country with such a diverse population of people, Where some people eat as a sport,and some families that eat for survival but cant. Dumb move man but i hope you make a full recovery. Although i believe the butter did block arteries but with the carbs in biscuits im sure the sugar itself was enough to give him insulin shock.
My bullshit meter is off the charts on this story. They wouldn’t fit, no chance.
I can’t believe that restaurant allowed a man to eat that much!
What a “….ucking idiot”!
And the butter they drained gets brushed right back onto the biscuits. That’s why they’re so delicious!
He should be fine at Golden Corral. Its pretty gross.
Butter draining from his body??? Never heard of such a thing. Except in cheap Sci-fi shows…. Maybe not even then!!
I doubt anybody could eat 413 of those biscuits
Wow lol
You know I’m having seriously carb cravings when I go googling biscuit stories. lol this was pretty funny though. The crumbs in his beard got me. 🙂
What an Idiot
413 biscuits at 150 cal each would mean he consumed 61,950 calories – how is that even possible?
Butter huh, blocked he signals from his brain. Not ever really well put together there fake people.