News

Man Lost After Trying to Find UAMS Cafeteria is Found 3 Years Later

UAMS campus security officials today say that they have located the man who became lost in 2010 while searching for the cafeteria.

William Monroe, 45, became lost while visiting a relative in February 2010. Monroe left the room of his niece  Elaine Matthews, to get lunch for her from the cafeteria. Matthews, who was in recovery following giving birth to twin boys, became worried about her uncle when he did not return after 4 hours.

Matthews became worried and alerted a nurse attending to one of her sons. The nurse along with members of campus security searched throughout the hospital for Monroe and were unable to locate him. Officials believed Matthews had left the hospital and gave up the search.

Early this morning janitorial staff alerted campus security about a seemingly deranged man with a massive beard who was continuously muttering “I need to get her chicken nachos”. The man was located in a seldom used storage area in a third level basement under the library. Officials quickly confirmed that the individual was Monroe.

“This happens more than you would think,” a UAMS spokesperson tells us. “Over the years we have connected new buildings, destroyed old connections, and periodically just rearrange things. Most of this happens on the basement levels, which happen to contain the cafeteria. We just completely lose on average 4-5 individuals a year in the basement, most of which are looking for the cafeteria and are found within a week. We are just thankful we were able to recover Mr. Monroe, he has a lot of questions about the past 3 years.”

In 2009 UAMS opened the new hospital. Instead of building a new cafeteria they connected several winding corridors through the basement leading from the new hospital to the old cafeteria. The cafeteria has taken on a mythological persona, similar to the Bermuda Triangle. Few believe it actually exist and others never return after trying to find it.

This is only the second case of a missing individual from UAMS cafeteria being recovered this year. Earlier this year a student was lost for 2 weeks after returning from lunch in the cafeteria. She was later found near the State Capitol after turning down a hall way that had previously been closed off, but was left unlocked.

Greg Henderson

Greg Henderson

Owner/Publisher/Chief Fire-starter

© 2012 – 2013 Rock City Times. The content on here is presented as fictional news with an intent for humor.

LOL… considering I get lost every time I try to get to the cafeteria, this is almost believable.

I went to UAMS…It took me a year to find the cafeteria……I’m glad I left breadcrumbs to find my way back out

At the bottom of this page it reads, “The content on here is presented as fictional news with an intent for humor.”

How do you not see that this is a joke? Also, how do you fail to use commas, periods, or capitalization at all?

how do go missing in a hospital for 3years and no one she you how did he eat drink are even take showers