The NCAA today ruled that University of Central Arkansas’ (UCA) football team must vacate all wins at Estes Stadium since the 2011 season due to hypnotizing opposing players.
A formal investigation into the hypnosis began at the start of this football season. Following games at Estes Stadium random members of the opposing team were tested for hypnosis by a trained former Las Vegas hypnotist. In some games such as the 58-7 victory over University of Incarnate Word and the 31-0 victory over Nebraska Kearney as many as 80% of the opposing team’s players were shown to be hypnotized.
“This is a serious offense by UCA and we are still considering further sanctions,” NCAA chief investigator Patrick Swanson says. “It is so sad to see that a large portion of UCA’s success has come from cheating.”
UCA entered the season undefeated at home, with an 11-0 record, since the 2011 season. This season UCA has won 3 of their 5 home games going into a final game this weekend against Sam Houston State.
The NCAA began to notice the situation during a game last year against Eastern Illinois(EIU). Shortly before halftime EIU scored a touchdown to bring the score within 1 point at 23-24. On the ensuing kickoff the entire EIU team began clucking like chickens, flapping their arms, and pecking at the ground. UCA went on to score an additional 24 points to EIU’s 7 points.
“We are still trying to pinpoint the source of the hypnosis, but preliminary reports show that it is their alternating purple and grey field that appears to be causing the issues,” Swanson tells us. “Because of that we are asking UCA to move their game this weekend to nearby Hendrix College’s Young-Wise Stadium.”
UCA’s purple and grey field drew a variety of negative reviews and plenty of questions about why the team would want to implement the color scheme. The field was later revealed to be designed by UCA’s psychology department, lead by a pair of senior psychology majors specializing in hypnotherapy.
Following the announcement the University of Arkansas Razorback Football team sent a formal request to UCA to use Estes stadium for home games against Alabama and LSU in the 2014 football season.
27 Comments
This is so fake it’s insane. Lol.
How funny.
lol
Don’t think that would help the hogs.
Yeah Right. WTF
Greg Henderson must have too much time on his hands. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It makes for a good laugh though!
Greg Henderson must have too much time on his hands. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It makes for a good laugh though!
It is no surprise to me that you “failed miserably” at your dream of becoming a Ghostbuster. You must have failed miserably at being a real sports writer also. Do you have something against Arkansas or is it just all I see of your “funny” articles?
If the field is hypnotizing, why aren’t all of the players (on both sides) affected? Does the field pick which people it wants to target or do all UCA’s players have special powers that make them immune?? Lol…this is funny! I googled it and found nothing else on the subject…good one tho!
So if a state decides to allow the growth of Marijuana?….
It is soooo funny to see people get all worked up about the news on RockCitytimes….It is not even a real newspaper…Another example of people believing anything that they see on the internet WITHOUT RESEARCHING IT.
This is so , funny I was so suckered into the story that I didn realize it was not real until the part of Arkansas using the field against Alabama and LSU, What a great writer you are and yes I did stop on the chicken part but I kept reading because I was hooked and couldn’t wait to see what the ending would be! Good Job!
Can the Razorbacks change ther opponents too? Like possibly changing from Alabama to playing Hendrix?
Your mom goes to college…
No it’s a joke
This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard of in a very long time, comes very close to saying peanut butter and jelly sandwich is racist! Ugh, what is this country coming to?
What about BSUs field scaring players who have a fear of drowing? Or maybe Oregons basketball court for those in fear of being dumped in the forrest and left for dead? Its a fan issue not a player issue. The ugly trend of jerseys is the bigger problem
You have to move the football to get the effect.
Punked
That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard OMG
Just Alabama and LSU?
I became suspicious at the veracity of this story reading the first line. But when you jumble football field, hypnosis and clucking chickens into the framework of one story, then my “line of crap” radar just went haywire. You seem like a talented guy and yes, this story is amusing, but believable? I think not. Good try though.
This is the dumbest article I’ve ever read.
Lol at the humor found in these little stories. The first time I read one of these, I wasn’t hip to Rock City Times… Lol… Good one!
This is hilarious! Wish UofA WOULD figure something like this out!!!
To bad this didn’t actually work lol the hogs could use all the help they can get lol
To bad this didn’t actually work lol the hogs could use all the help they can get lol