ARLINGTON, Tx – Referees at the tournament officiating press conference say that for the third time in four years Kentucky head coach John Calipari ranked as their favorite head coach.
Referees cite the elaborate fruit baskets Calipari sends each officiating crew calling his games during the tournament as a key part of his continued tournament success.
“When tournament assignments come around we all fight over who will be calling games in Kentucky’s path to an inevitable Final Four,” 2014 quarterfinal referee Ed Corbett tells us. “Each round the baskets grow larger. We got fresh pineapples shipped in from Paraguay in our basket this past round. I absolutely love pineapples. It is like he knew my favorite fruit.”
Officials unanimously stated that the inclusion of gift baskets hold no sway over their officiating of the game, however they do say that gift baskets going to losing officiating crews are far less impressive.
“When I called the 2011 semi final game that they lost I found a basket of rotten pears and something that vaguely resembled and smelled like zebra poop,” referee Mark Whitehead said. “Coach Calipari apologized, saying there must have been a mixup with the delivery company. I am sure that was the case.”
The NCAA was quick to point out that receiving gifts as influence over games is strictly prohibited, however by giving the gifts after the games as token of appreciation for their hard work, allows Calipari’s gifts to be completely acceptable. “Coach Calipari is a stand up guy afterall. I can’t imagine an instance where he would violate a rule just to gain an edge,” NCAA officials director John Adams tells us.