The city of Pine Bluff today announced the start of a new $425 million ocean front development project for downtown.
The project comes after a recent National Geographic study showing what the world’s coastlines would look like if the polar ice caps melted. The study shows most of the existing gulf area to be underwater with a new large sea developing along the Mississippi river valley.
“We ran a number of models in addition to the NatGeo study,” Pine Bluff’s convention and visitors bureau director Jack Hall tells us. “Every single model showed the edge of the new sea settling right around downtown Pine Bluff. This is like Christmas for us. We go from being the #2 worst city in America to the South’s best future vacation spot.”
The new development would bring a number of high rise condominiums and hotels along with shops to the expected shoreline. Additionally the city plans to truck in 86,000 tons of white sand to help jumpstart the beachfront along the shoreline.
The studies estimate that at the current rate the ice caps and rising see levels will take between 3,500 – 5,000 years to complete. However the study did show that a dramatic global event could rapidly increase the melting.
“We looked at the total impact the new beachfront could have on our economy, and it would easily pay for the development in 5-7 years,” Hall tells us. “Unfortunately without some large intervention we are going to have to wait around another 3,500 years for it to happen. So we decided to just blow the Pine Bluff arsenal and speed this up a bit. Yeah, we lose White Hall. But by our estimates we will be sipping mai tais on our new beach by 2018.”
The Jefferson County Sheriff’s office tells us that the detonation of the Pine Bluff arsenal will come Saturday November 23 following the conclusion of the Razorback Football game. Residents of impacted areas are encouraged to follow the designated evacuation routes. Residents with an evacuation route South or East of the city are encouraged to pack personal flotation devices.
18 Comments
Just put in my bid for the beach concessions.
The Port of Pine Bluff already handles great commercial transportation and could be well-suited to accommodate luxury watercraft. 😉
The Port of Pine Bluff already handles great commercial transportation and could be well-suited to accommodate luxury watercraft. 😉
The great floods of 27 & 32 didn’t solve Pine Bluff’s problems – I don’t see the ocean front bonanza working either.
The great floods of 27 & 32 didn’t solve Pine Bluff’s problems – I don’t see the ocean front bonanza working either.
Is this a joke ?? Beachfront in Pine Bluff ??
It won’t solve PB’s problems, unless it’s a complete Biblical-scale diluvian event…as long as it doesn’t go any higher up than Stuttgart…
Ha, LOVE IT!
Yeah right only in our dreams people love the ideal but it will never happen
Finally !!! Hope for the Bluff !!!
Not in my life time,
I’m native to Long Island (NY) (although I now live upstate, well beyond the new beachfront). I still have relatives and in-laws on LI, though. We won’t be able to claim this, someday. Will Pine Bluff adopt me and my family?
How stupid can people be?
How stupid can people be?
Hey geniuses, yes all of you. “Rock City Times” is called the 2nd most unreliable news source in Arkansas for a reason.
I live on Key Biscayne just off the coast of Miami, I’ll drown here before I ever step foot in Arkansas!
I live on Key Biscayne just off the coast of Miami, I’ll drown here before I ever step foot in Arkansas!
I live on Key Biscayne just off the coast of Miami, I’ll drown here before I ever step foot in Arkansas!