Russian-Made Olympic Medals Contain Lead, Arsenic, Asbestos
SOCHI, RUSSIA — Olympic officials announced today that Russian-made “gold” and “silver” medals have been found to contain harmful levels of lead, arsenic and asbestos. An investigation revealed that the …
Shaun White Salvages Olympics With Epic Door Prize
SOCHI, Russia — Hours after failing to medal in his signature event, American snowboarder Shaun White found out he was a winner after all. The former gold medalist was the …
Bode Miller Attributes 2014 Olympic Success to High Quality of Russian Vodka
SOCHI – USA downhill skier Bode Miller appears to be on track for his most successful Olympic competition to date after the final men’s downhill training run on Saturday that …
Stray Dogs Steal and Destroy American Opening Ceremony Uniforms at Sochi
SOCHI – Officials with the USA Winter Olympic team have confirmed that their opening ceremony uniforms were stolen by a pack of stray dogs while moving into the Olympic Athlete’s …
Russia Requiring All Athletes to Pass “Gay Test” Before Being Allowed to Compete at the Olympics
SOCHI, Russia – The Russian Olympic Committee today announced that all athletes for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi are required to pass a basic test for homosexual tendencies. The test …