Tom Cotton’s Mother Announces Plans to Run Against her Son for Senate

DARDANELLE, Ark – Avis Cotton, the mother of State Representative and Senate candidate Tom Cotton,  officially announced her plans to run for the Senate seat currently occupied by Sen. Mark Pryor, D-Ark. and challenge her son in the Republican primary.

Mrs. Cotton received highly favorable reviews following a December advertising spot supporting her son’s campaign. Polling data following the advertisements showed Mrs. Cotton’s likability and trustworthiness 20-30 points higher than her son, who received no noticeable increase following the advertising campaign.

“This is a very important race for us, we really want to see the best possible candidate on the general election ticket,” state Republican Party Chairman Doyle Webb tells us. “There are some uncertainties about Mr. Cotton that Mrs. Cotton seems to address. We are very excited that she was willing to run for the seat when asked.”

Following the announcement Mrs. Cotton released her first television ad, which wasted no time attacking Mr. Cotton’s credentials for the position.

“I taught Tom everything he knows, but like a good mother I held the most important lessons back for him to learn on his own,” Mrs. Cotton says in the 30 second spot. “… but Tom is hard headed, just like his dad. Do you want a candidate still learning those lessons, or someone who has already learned them? Do you want the candidate who got spanked or delivered the spanking? Make the right choice for Senate, or I’ll spank you too.”

Mrs. Cotton is expected to immediately begin campaigning, beginning with a tour of the 100+ Arkansas local Red Hat Society chapters.

Tom Cotton’s office was not available for comment about the announcement. We have been told unofficially his staff is busy fixing computers for Mrs. Cotton’s campaign.

advertisement
Previous post
A-Rod Happy to Finally Have the Time to Write Next Great American Novel in a Drunken Haze
Next post
Audit Finds that over 80% of Obamacare Signups Came from Spam Bots

No Comment

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

Back

News Alerts

Signup for our daily news alerts or weekly recap
Signup
SHARE

Tom Cotton’s Mother Announces Plans to Run Against her Son for Senate