Late Wednesday afternoon, in anticipation of heavy rains over the next several days, George “Noah” Wallace finishes 82,000 sq ft Ark on empty lot next to his Chenal Valley home. The Ark features 800 animal stalls, 10 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, and a man cave complete with big screen TV and DirecTV service.
Wallace says that he came up with the idea to complete the Ark when a booming voice told him last November that it would flood the world before the ides of March. The day after the voice appeared to him he decided to hire Nabholz construction to build an Ark in the adjacent lot to his house.
“When Mr. Wallace came to us wanting to build an Ark I thought he was crazy.” Bill Hannah of Nabholz told us.”Then he began came up with the loan money for the project, so we figured why not, can’t be any crazier than building a giant mobile home next to the river.” Nabholz also announced this will be the first Platinum LEED certified Ark in the country.
Mr. Wallace would not disclose the final costs of the project, but said it didn’t really matter since the banks would be destroyed in the flood. “I figured I might as well spruce it up a bit, 40 days on a boat is a long time” said Wallace. Other amenities include 2 hot tubs, an endless pool, tennis courts, and full service Starbucks. “My wife gets a little cranky without her morning Grande no-whip caramel macchiato” said Wallace.
Wallace says he has been reaching out to Little Rock Zoo officials to move animals over sometime Friday morning. He has yet to receive a response from the zoo, but feels confident they will show up on time.
Neighbors in the surrounding sub division have been less than optimistic about the building of the Ark. “At first we thought he might be building some modern upside down house, we were very excited about the impact on our neighborhood home value” says Patty Smith, a neighbor of Wallace, “however we saw it was just a big boat it pissed us off a little. The city even ignored our complaints saying he filled all the proper permits.”
Wallace says he anticipates a launch of the Ark sometime early Sunday morning, with full flooding to come on Monday or Tuesday, well before the 15th deadline. He has no plans of allowing others on board.