daily mirror

The British tabloid The Daily Mirror announced this weekend that they will begin outsourcing the bulk of their content writing to satire news sites based out of Arkansas. The move comes as the tabloid faces declining viewership and poor journalism standards from existing staff.

The tabloid hopes to increase readership by providing stories that are often more true than their typical pieces. Arkansas initially attracted the magazines because of their vast amount of exceptional talent and near 3rd world cost of living. Initial trial runs of using the Arkansas satire writers has proven quite successful, spawning reproductions of their stories in Canada, Australia, New York and other UK papers.

“We think we have found a winning combination with the new writers,” says chief editor of The Daily Mirror. “We think this really brings our journalism up to a new notch. The content we get from them is far better than what we really write. Who wants to read our crappy articles about a man being stuck in a traffic cone, or Miley Cyrus wearing an outdated basketball jersey. This allows us to be far more in touch with what our readers want to actually read.”

This is not the first time the tabloid has attempted to outsource their journalism. Last year they contracted with a writing firm out of India. The contract failed when an article pitched about Kate Middleton becoming pregnant was written back as Queen Elizabeth becoming pregnant with Prince William’s child. The article prompted an apology to the queen from the paper.

“Yes we have had to overcome a few language barriers with the Arkansas people, but it is nothing compared to what we went through with the Indians,” the editor explains. “We had to google to see what the word ‘Yall’ actually referred to, and it took us forever to understand why they keep putting their feet in the rear of their automobiles.”

The Daily Mirror expects to complete the full transition to the new writers by the end of the month. They did acknowledge that some of the stories may seem far fetched, like a man eating 413 Red Lobster biscuits, but they promise as long as the stories seem even remotely plausible they will publish the stories.