Department of Justice Announces Investigation into Russian Meddling in Buzz Babe Bracket

The Department of Justice’s special investigation into the Russian influence in the 2016 election took an unexpected turn today when evidence was uncovered pointing to Russian involvement in the 2017 Buzz Babe Bracket. The Babe Bracket is hosted by Little Rock radio Station 103.7.

Each year the Babe Bracket puts local female tv personalities together in a single elimination bracket competing against each other for overall appearance. The contest has come under increase scrutiny over the past several weeks in local media due to the stance of objectifying women based on their appearance.

Special Council Robert Muller says they will look into the evidence, and hints that indictments may come by the end of the week.

“We have clear evidence that money was paid to the contest promoters as well as one of the finalists from Russia in an effort to gain favorability in the local television market,” Muller states. “We continue a thorough investigation into the matter and allow the evidence to speak.”

Sources close to the investigation tell us that promoter David Bazzel received several transactions and free teeth whitening sessions in exchange for ensuring both Janelle Lilly and Winnie Wright reach the finals of the bracket. Additionally Muller’s team found evidence that THV reporter Winnie Wright was funneled money for a number of stories, including some as recent as late January, that covered the tracks of Russian operations within the city. One example cited is a story on a local gym installing mini trampolines that ultimately were used for training Russian spies.

“This is all fake news,” Bazzel says in a written statement. “They trying to undermine the only way I get girls to talk to me. It is outrageous.”

As for the other person involved, KATV’s Janelle Lilly, there is significant evidence pointing to her being a top level KGB secret agent operating under the code name Flame Robin. She may additionally be behind a plot to steal the USS Razorback and sail it to the coast of Cuba. Since the investigation was announced her whereabouts are unknown.

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Department of Justice Announces Investigation into Russian Meddling in Buzz Babe Bracket