LITTLE ROCK — The US Geological Survey (USGS) issued a warning for residents of Central Arkansas and surrounding areas of an imminent volcanic threat coming from Pinnacle Mountain in Pulaski County Arkansas.
USGS officials say they have found conclusive evidence following recent surveys of the area that Pinnacle is experiencing volcanic activity. The mountain is now re-classified as an active volcano which will produce a significant eruption soon.
“We started research of the area last year and were startled at what the tests recently showed,” USGS spokesperson Helen Pike tells us. “Time to consider evacuation plans if you are in the Little Rock metro area. This will be a very violent volcano.
Geological studies show that Pinnacle Mountain was formed following a series of volcanic activity 32 million years ago. Pinnacle sits atop a previously dormant fault line that is a branch of the larger New Madrid fault. The fault line became reactivated after natural gas fracking, leading to a series of earthquakes in central Arkansas over the past 5 years.
Despite the warning many residents say they have no plans to evacuate.
“Hell, they have been telling us Little Rock was dangerous since then 90’s,” Little Rock resident Marcus Griffin tells us. “About time we did something to earn that most dangerous city ranking, even then we are still over rated in that category. I would take a volcano over South Memphis any day.”
University of Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long released a statement canceling all future Little Rock games, including the game this season against Georgia. In the statement Long said “We don’t believe the mountain is actually a volcano, we just needed a halfway plausible excuse to cancel the games.”
19 Comments
I will believe this when I see it reported somewhere else.
I will believe this when I see it reported somewhere else.
you evidently missed the underlying point.
It is about getting rid of Little Rock football games.
you evidently missed the underlying point.
It is about getting rid of Little Rock football games.
FRACKING really? Get over yourself I doubt this is real
The comments are almost as funny as the article. Thanks for the write up Greg!
The comments are almost as funny as the article. Thanks for the write up Greg!
Hilarious! I almost got in my car to view the “volcano’s” activity for myself…… almost!!! LOL
I recently learned that all the fish are dead or dying in Lake Maumelle due to the rising gases from the underground magma chambers. The water has been deemed unsafe to drink.
I’m from New York. I tried to tell people about the threat. This summer I climbed the mountain and remember the the undeniable heat burning my face and feet all the way up, especially severe at the top. I was on an active volcano and only I knew it! Despite what my family and co-workers say, I am not delusional. I’m thankful to the *Rock City Times* for validating my experience. Right now, I am on an ice floe and EVERYBODY IS IN DENIAL ABOUT IT. We need you up here, RCT. — David Franke
I’m from New York. I tried to tell people about the threat. This summer I climbed the mountain and remember the the undeniable heat burning my face and feet all the way up, especially severe at the top. I was on an active volcano and only I knew it! Despite what my family and co-workers say, I am not delusional. I’m thankful to the *Rock City Times* for validating my experience. Right now, I am on an ice floe and EVERYBODY IS IN DENIAL ABOUT IT. We need you up here, RCT. — David Franke
The Nicholls coach told his team at halftime that next week at halftime they must get off the field quicker. He explained he did not want the band to ever score on them again .
The Nicholls coach told his team at halftime that next week at halftime they must get off the field quicker. He explained he did not want the band to ever score on them again .
Is Otus the head cat aware of this?
Is Otus the head cat aware of this?
you definitely got me. Until the end….any real university coach would be screaming at his team to outrun the !@$# lava, what are they, a bunch of pu**ies?!?!? (think of the profit potential of that video!)
you definitely got me. Until the end….any real university coach would be screaming at his team to outrun the !@$# lava, what are they, a bunch of pu**ies?!?!? (think of the profit potential of that video!)
More stories please? That’s hilarious!
More stories please? That’s hilarious!