LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — In an effort to spice up an otherwise long and bland road race, Little Rock Marathon organizers today revealed plans to place random cups of straight vodka at all water stations.
“Nothing is funnier than the look on an exhausted runner’s face after tossing back an entire cup of vodka,” said marathon volunteer coordinator Jeremy Popov. “We are certain this will enhance the race for both participants and fans.”
News of the extra race spirits has been met with near unanimous support among marathon participants. Defending champion Allen Morris of Jonesboro whole-heartedly supports the idea.
“I can see how this will make the race more interesting for the runners,” Morris said . “Also, I’m an alcoholic.”
Tina Woodson, a runner from Memphis, also likes the new plan.
“I’m bringing some OJ with me,” she said. “Just in case I get lucky.”
Race co-sponsor Gordon’s Vodka has provided 2,860 liters of vodka to be distributed among the various water stations and medical stations.
“Only the best for our runners,” Popov added.
All race finishers will be given a breathalyzer test. The racer the highest blood alcohol level will receive a special medallion as well as a citation for public intoxication from the LRPD.