Malzahn Purchases 22 Waffle House Locations Following National Championship Loss

PASADENA, Ca–Fort Smith native and current head coach of the Auburn University football program, Gus Malzahn announced this morning that he is franchising twenty-two locations of the popular eatery Waffle House.  While the majority of the franchises are located in Alabama, the purchase also includes locations in Little Rock, Springdale, and Fayetteville.

“I feel like the time is right for me to make this move,” Malzahn said during a small press conference at the team hotel in Pasadena.  “Enjoying a heaping plate of hash browns after a game has been somewhat of a ritual for me since I was coaching in Springdale. Obviously eating at them is not enough anymore”

The coach’s penchant for having a post-game meal at the local Waffle House after home games has received a lot of media attention this football season.  Sources close to Malzahn say that the coach, visibly emotional from last night’s loss, began making phone calls throughout the night to all 22 locations.

“It’s something he’s wanted to do for quite a while now,” a close friend of Malzahn’s stated. “He just got pissed off and finally did it, spent his entire national championship appearance, SEC championship, and coach of the year bonuses to buy them.”

When asked if he thought owning locations in Fayetteville may cause any uproar, Coach Malzahn said he didn’t have any hard feelings against the University of Arkansas and hoped the people of Arkansas didn’t harbor any ill will against him.

Signs were immediately placed on the entrance to the Fayetteville locations stating “no Nutts allowed”. The move has already resulted in increased sales 5 hours into the purchase.

“Waffles and winning are always sure fire ways to get people to like you,” Malzahn stated.  “We just need a few more waffles.”

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Malzahn Purchases 22 Waffle House Locations Following National Championship Loss