Razorbacks Unveil the Morris Taurus for Recruiting

FAYETTEVILLE — The newly hired Razorback head coach Chad Morris wasted no time hitting the recruiting trail. The University unveiled the “Morris Taurus” that the Morris will drive around the state scouting football recruits.

The Ford Taurus was not the initial vehicle Morris had in mind when making the request from the university, but due to budget constraints it was the best the Hogs could come up with for this season.

“I approached Yuri (athletic director Hunter Yurachek) about embracing our hammer down concept of fast football by driving around in a bright red sports car to visit recruits. After all I loved the Gus Bus idea that Malazan used, why not a Morris-borghini, or a Morriserati,” Morris explained. “After reviewing the budget, they were able to offer me a ’01 Taurus from the local Car Mart. Something about buyouts, a huge stadium expansion, and below average concession sales due to folks smuggling in Coca-cola products ended up depleting the staff vehicle funds.”

The team was able to trade a media guide sponsorship with Sines’ Body Shop in Fayetteville for a new Razorback red paint job and lettering on the side of the car. They were also able to pick up some almost new tires from an estate sale over the weekend.

Morris says he is making the most out of the car, and thinks it will be a big recruiting tool.

“It surprisingly only has 162,000 miles on it, way better than the ’05 Chevy Malibu we looked at. Plus it has rear cup holders in case  I need to haul around some 5 star recruits and show them the campus,” Morris says enthusiastically. “It smokes a little when you give it some gas. Still, there is nothing like jumping over in the left lane, putting the hammer down, feeling that cool 63 mph wind in your hair, and hearing folks honk at you from behind as you are backing up traffic in the fast lane.”

The athletic department also says that Morris will need to wear Bret Bielema’s used windbreakers to all the football games in the 2018 season due to contractual obligation with Nike. No word yet on if he will have to supply his own visor.

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Razorbacks Unveil the Morris Taurus for Recruiting