Mark Martin to run against Mark Martin for Secretary of State

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In an unexpected political move, this morning Mark Martin (the race car driver) announced that he would run against Mark Martin (not the race car driver) for secretary of state in the 2014 election.

Martin (the race car driver) held his announcement this morning in front of the state Capitol to a crowd of supporters, mostly wearing his Aaron’s #55 hat. Martin said that he plans to run as a Burger Party candidate and feels really good about his chances for election.

“Not naming names, but other people have been elected to this position before by having confused voters believe that they were voting for me,” Martin (the race car driver) said. “Today I want to make sure the people of Arkansas get the real thing. Not some guy from NWA who likes to make right turns. I am the candidate Arkansas needs to drive them across the finish line and into a brighter future.”

When asked about what policies he planned to support, Martin (the race car driver) said he has no fixed platform. “It didn’t hurt he-who-is-not-a-race-car-driver’s election chances by having no clear agenda or any real talent for the position,” Martin added to his answer.

Martin (the race car driver) will join Joel DiPippa, who announced earlier this month for Attorney General, as the two candidates under the newly formed Burger Party. Martin says he plans to join DiPippa on his statewide fundraising tour of burger joints in his #55 Aaron’s race car.

Mark Martin (not the race car driver) was unavailable for comment to this morning’s announcement. A source within Martin’s staff tells us he has been receiving driving lessons and plans to race this fall at I-30 speedway to better compete against Martin (the race car driver) in the general election.

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Mark Martin to run against Mark Martin for Secretary of State