A member of the Governor’s mansion housekeeping crew discovered former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee locked up in a previously unused guest house on the mansion grounds. Huckabee appears to be in good health, good spirits, and well fed.
Local authorities are still investigating this breaking story. Our sources have learned that authorities suspect Governor Huckabee was locked in the house during 2004 and replace with a significantly skinnier impostor. The suspects then created a story of massive weight loss to cover up the changes in physical appearance. The FBI has issued an initial arrest warrant for skinny Huckabee while they continue their investigation.
Huckabee began his governorship of Arkansas in 1996 and was praised by many for his moderate stance on many political issues. Huckabee in his early governorship weight upward of 300lbs. In 2004, following a diagnosis of Diabetes the following year, Huckabee appeared to have lost over 100lbs in a matter of months. This weight loss was shocking enough that the New York Times reported “it was as if he simply unzipped a fat suit and stepped out”. Turns out the Times was not far from the truth.
Along with the dramatic weight change came a sudden increase in conservative policy making. This has escalated in the years since leaving Arkansas where skinny Huckabee has been called one of the most politically right voices in America. From there he made an unsuccessful run at president and started his own conservative talk radio show.
“It appears now that all this time the skinny Huckabee we thought we knew was not really Huckabee at all” says a spokes person for Governor Mike Beebe’s office. “I am not sure how so many people were fooled by this impostor, they do not even look or act the same. In fact they are nothing alike at all.”
The state Legislature held a joint session of both houses upon hearing the news. The topics included upholding any laws accepted by the fake governor and if the newly identified real Mike Huckabee needs to be sworn out of office. The senate is expected to suggest upholding any bills signed into law by Skinny Huckabee because of ideological similarities.
Fat Huckabee is said to be doing well and recovering at the newly discovered Dunkin Donuts. No word on if Fat Huckabee plans to re-enter politics.
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