CONWAY, Ark. — State Sen. Jason Rapert used his Twitter account on Saturday to expose President Barack Obama’s sinister plot to bring the deadly Ebola virus to America in the form of two infected U.S. citizens who are seeking treatment.
“I pray for a cure for Ebola,” the tweet reads, “but it is ludicrous to introduce this disease on American soil, maybe even treasonous. @BarackObama @CDCgov.”
Rapert’s shocking discovery can be attributed to his deep understanding of health, law, and ethics — a body of knowledge as vast as Wikipedia itself. White House press secretary Josh Earnest said the President denies any involvement with the plot saying: “President Obama has no plans to eliminate 78% of the US population and install a new world order. I repeat, there is absolutely no well thought out plot to make this happen.”
President Obama was unavailable for comments. According to sources within the White House no one has seen or heard from the President in four days.
In a Sunday press conference, Rapert explained how he discovered the president’s doomsday plans.
“Even a paranoid, ignorant jackass could have figured it out. There were two things that gave it away: spelling and geography. First, if you mix up letter in the word ‘Ebola,’ you get ‘Obale.’ Sounds a lot like ‘Obama,’ am I right? Second, who would care about a sickness that’s affecting people in Africa? Yep, someone who was secretly born there.”
Rapert concluded the press conference by naming other groups of people who should also be expelled from America.
“A while back, I created a list of people who have no right to be here. Somewhere near the top are gays and other minorities who would like to run roughshod over what we believe in. At the very top of the list are Ebola patients. And don’t even make me think about a gay Ebola patient — it just gives me the willies.”
Click here to learn more about the Ebola virus and donate to Doctors Without Borders, an organization currently treating patients in West Africa.