Chris Christie Hopes to Clear Name With Electric Super Bowl Halftime Performance
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — Embattled New Jersey governor Chris Christie told reporters today that he plans to use his Super Bowl halftime performance to set the story straight regarding his …
Peyton Manning Changing “Omaha” call to “Voldemort” for the Super Bowl
EAST RUTHERFORD — Peyton Manning is changing his famous “Omaha” pre-snap call to “Voldemort” for the SuperBowl according to sources attending the Broncos practice. The Denver Broncos completed their first …
Peyton Loses Bet to Eli; Will Wear Ole Miss Uniform in Super Bowl
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning informed his team today that, due to losing a friendly wager to his younger brother [New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning] …
Over 150 Frozen Sharks Found Along Gulf Coast as Winter Storm Hits Region
GULFPORT – Over 150 frozen sharks have surfaced on beaches across the gulf coast region due to the impact of Winter Storm Leon on Tuesday according to wildlife officials. The largest …
New “No Social Networking Site Left Behind” Law Sends Millions to Myspace, Crashes Site
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. – The social networking site Myspace crashed for nearly three hours on Thursday after tens of millions of estranged users logged on to the site within 24 …
Six NFL Owners From Poorly Performing Teams Form Marijuana Legalization Lobbying Group
JACKSONVILLE, Fl – A group of NFL owners led by Jacksonville Jaguars Owner Shahid Khan announced plans to form the largest pro-marijuana legalization lobbying group. The group includes owners from …
Russia Requiring All Athletes to Pass “Gay Test” Before Being Allowed to Compete at the Olympics
SOCHI, Russia – The Russian Olympic Committee today announced that all athletes for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi are required to pass a basic test for homosexual tendencies. The test …
Dennis Rodman Named North Korea Minister of Defense
PYONGYANG – North Korea state media is reporting that former NBA star, and supporter of Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, Dennis Rodman accepted the Minister of Defense position for North Korea in …
Audit Finds that over 80% of Obamacare Signups Came from Spam Bots
WASHINGTON – Results of an internal audit of the online signups for Healthcare.gov released today reveal that more than 80% of registrations for the Affordable Health Care Act (also known …