A-Rod Happy to Finally Have the Time to Write Next Great American Novel in a Drunken Haze
NEW YORK – Hours after Major League Baseball suspended Alex Rodriguez for the entire 2014 season, the Yankee’s third baseman said he is happy to finally have the time to …
Alabama Hires Lane Kiffin as NCAA Violation Coordinator
TUSCALOOSA , Ala. – Alabama football coach Nick Saban announced the hiring of Lane Kiffin Friday as NCAA Violation Coordinator. Kiffin, who was fired as head coach at USC only …
Chris Christie Announces Presidential Campaign, Pledges to Build Bridge to the 21st 1/2 Century
NEWARK, NJ – New Jersey Governor Chris Christie today announced his bid for the 2016 Presidential Election at a press conference in downtown Newark today. In the hour long announcement …
Mission Accomplished: Petrino’s Triumphant Return to Louisville After 10-Year Undercover Op
LOUISVILLE, Ky – Hours after re-signing former coach Bobby Petrino, Louisville athletic administrators revealed his decade-long odyssey had all been part of an elaborate, top-secret undercover operation. “It is with …
Bobby Petrino Leading Candidate for Louisville Job, Interview This Week
LOUISVILLE, Ky – We have confirmed sources telling us that Former Razorback and Cardinal coach Bobby Petrino is scheduled to be interviewed by the University of Louisville Monday. The Louisville …
Jerry Jones Announces He will Undergo a Post-Season Brain Transplant
Landover, MD — Dallas Cowboy owner Jerry Jones announced today in a press conference before a game at Washington that he will undergo a full brain transplant immediately following the …
White Smoke Seen Coming from Longhorn Stadium, No New University of Texas Coach Elected
Austin, TX — White smoke was seen coming from Darrell K. Royal Stadium on the campus of the University of Texas this morning after Alabama head coach Nick Saban formally …
Chinese Lunar Probe Finds No Evidence American Astronauts Landed on the Moon
Beijing, China — The Chinese unmanned lunar probe, Chang’e 3, made a successful landing on the moon this morning (12/14/2013) according to China state media. Initial images from the lunar rover …
Failed Memphis Grizzlies Live Mascot Experiment leaves 38 Injured
Memphis, TN — 38 people are injured, including one Arkansan, after the NBA’s Memphis Grizzlies’ new live mascot escaped onto Beale Street prior to last night’s game against the Orlando …
Letter From The Publisher: Sorry for all the typos
This month marks 9 months of Rock City Times being open as your 2nd most unreliable news source, a spot we cherish with no desire to move up to #1. …